Today, July 26, 2014
Have you ever been to a state penitentiary? It is a literal cage for humans, rats in their holes desperate for cheese, friends, warmth. All do their best to adapt I suppose, some use their talents to pass the time, some read, some cling to religion, and some just go out right crazy. Even in the visiting area I find it's cold there, the air smells of rubber, dust, and cement. The guards wear tazers and have night sticks and they jingle when they walk like the creepy guys on E.T. And yet.... he's so happy. He's one of the lucky ones that was able to find Jesus in the depths of hell, to repent of his wicked ways and change. In turn he's been protected by God's grace and I'm sure a few of his Holy Angels. He's so different I don't even recognize him. I love to see his eyes glow with hope and aspiration instead of flat-line with dis-pear and the misery of being high. He smiles and laughs now and is so concerned about my feelings. I like this new guy.... and in one hundred days maybe he can start to show me that Jesus can be with him out here too... One hundred days and counting.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Monday, July 14, 2014
Time
Today, July 14, 2014
Just in awe of human stubbornness and set ways... the natural fight or flight instincts in our genetic makeup leave little room for open minds, and clean hearts. Forgiveness is such a freeing feeling of weightless burden or guilt, yet a lot of us choose to stay in misery because we were victimized, or better yet we were right. I saw my cousin this weekend, one whom had fallen from our family tree of nuts and swore us crazies off for twenty years. Twenty years of missed photos, weddings, funerals, reunions, and parties. Now don't get me wrong it was like time had stood still and we were back to the old family, just my kids are grown and I now have a grand child... almost two to share with him. I miss those twenty years.
Time is a funny thing that we made up to keep track of each other. Time to meet, time to work, time to play... can't wait until 5:00 then it's time to go home. But time isn't made up when the grains of sand slip through the hour glass into days and we wonder where it went... that's when we wish for more and it is gone just as easily as it came. Life seems to to distract us into an array of years of excuses. I have done this too with friendships, let them go, let them slip because of life and where it takes me. I am grateful for clean slates and new beginnings even though the past is slipped away, the future awaits to sift through my fingers.
Just in awe of human stubbornness and set ways... the natural fight or flight instincts in our genetic makeup leave little room for open minds, and clean hearts. Forgiveness is such a freeing feeling of weightless burden or guilt, yet a lot of us choose to stay in misery because we were victimized, or better yet we were right. I saw my cousin this weekend, one whom had fallen from our family tree of nuts and swore us crazies off for twenty years. Twenty years of missed photos, weddings, funerals, reunions, and parties. Now don't get me wrong it was like time had stood still and we were back to the old family, just my kids are grown and I now have a grand child... almost two to share with him. I miss those twenty years.
Time is a funny thing that we made up to keep track of each other. Time to meet, time to work, time to play... can't wait until 5:00 then it's time to go home. But time isn't made up when the grains of sand slip through the hour glass into days and we wonder where it went... that's when we wish for more and it is gone just as easily as it came. Life seems to to distract us into an array of years of excuses. I have done this too with friendships, let them go, let them slip because of life and where it takes me. I am grateful for clean slates and new beginnings even though the past is slipped away, the future awaits to sift through my fingers.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Yesterday
May 1, 1990, 10:39 PM
There it was swishing in our old rickety washer, swimming a pale blue in the water with my father's brand new jeans... my bra...and not just any bargain bra, oh no, it was my wedding bra!. The very under garment I was to be wearing at seven am the next morning.You know the long hunted, money is no obstacle strong, supportive, and invisible type; the hand wash only, made in some unpronounceable country, sleek, and luxurious type? I never would have ever guessed in all my little girl Cinderella dreams that my "something blue" would be my brazier!
Shock was the only thing that stopped Bridezilla from storming Tokyo with death defying fireballs. Her cousin, Godzilla however, had already appeared in my living room the prior week when my three year old brother took scissors to my six foot train because he wanted to cut something. Trust me I wanted to cut something too!! I snatched the powder blue bra from the washer and decided there was nothing I could do. I was going to hang it to dry over night and laugh about it years later. A disappointed tear fell down my cheek and as I wiped it away I thought I just want to go to my castle to marry my prince... and live happily ever after surrounded in blue bras...
Shock was the only thing that stopped Bridezilla from storming Tokyo with death defying fireballs. Her cousin, Godzilla however, had already appeared in my living room the prior week when my three year old brother took scissors to my six foot train because he wanted to cut something. Trust me I wanted to cut something too!! I snatched the powder blue bra from the washer and decided there was nothing I could do. I was going to hang it to dry over night and laugh about it years later. A disappointed tear fell down my cheek and as I wiped it away I thought I just want to go to my castle to marry my prince... and live happily ever after surrounded in blue bras...
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