Yesterday

Yesterday, July 6, 2009

I went into the eye doctor today to get new glasses, my vision has been blurry, and I have been having headaches.  I also see these weird white spots in my peripheral vision. I have been so overloaded and stressed at work, no one can really appreciate a receptionist unless they actually have been one... anyway I have been having trouble reading my computer screen and I'm making stupid mistakes... guess it's time to get my eyes fixed, I thought.  The doctor was young but very educated, I liked her right away... most eye doctors I have seen remind me of the teacher on Ferris Bueller's Day Off  "Bueller? Bueller?" She dilated my eyes and took a look.  She asked me a questions that matched my grievances exactly, and then got up and got a book she said, "I think you may have a disease called Pseudo Tumor Cerebri, look you are a textbook case," she said as she handed me the book. "O.k. so, when can I get my glasses?", I ask naively. She told me I had to get to an emergency room because I had pressure on my optic nerve that could cause severe damage. Uh.. I just came in here for glasses??!!  I  learned that my vision was being effected by the pressure so new glasses were not a good option for today. She also told me if I didn't agree to go on my own accord she would be obligated to call an ambulance. So, I went, and it turns out I do have Pseudo Tumor Cerebri, a brain disease.. and get this... my brain only thinks it has a tumor, Pseudo is Latin for false. Duh! leave it to my brain! After a pretty scary Lumbar Puncture to relieve some pressure they sent me home to recover.  I feel dizzy and light headed, confused, and overwhelmed. All I can think about is my kids and how I will be able to deal with this, them, being a single parent, and keeping my job. It's times like these when I really turn to God. Why does it take something of such grandeur to make me turn to him?  I am a hard- (filled with fluid)- headed fool.